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Why finding a start up is comparable to looking for love…..

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looking-for-love-2I’ve never been one to really think about marriage. However, when asked about my entrepreneurial path, I always advise folks to treat entrepreneurship like looking for “the one” in dating.  I’m no relationship expert but this analogy has really helped me visualize and explain the mindset and actions necessary to find your dream startup or even a cofounder.


For this analogy I’m assuming the path to marriage starts with datingà then eventually a relationship à until one day you want a serious commitment hoping it leads to marriage. Below are some reasons.


  1. You can’t control the process: One of the most difficult things to grasp is the idea to act and move forward with limited certainty yet have faith that the universe will conspire in your favor if you put myself out their.
  2. Don’t commit too early: date around a bit before you take the plunge. Ask yourself what role you want to have, what values do you need in an opportunity, and what your willing to sacrifice Do this also to build confidence and until you have a sense of the nuances that exist.
  3. You must be in it to win it: Get out of the building and find the community. Put your self in the scene, engage & tell people what you want. You’ll never find what you need sitting at home contemplating strategies. Action is the best strategy in this game.
  4. Once your ready to commit you won’t settle for less: Once you’ve been around a bit and understand what you want, you’ll start to really want to settle down/commit to building. When you meet entrepreneurs your clear about your intentions and should ensure both your expectations align to avoid awkward conversations down the line.
  5. You get out, what you put in: The more you put into the partnership the more rewarding it is but on the flip side the more it hurts if things don’t work out.
  6. Timing is everything: You might find the perfect product for you skill set, it may be good terms but life happens. Sometimes although we wish things were different they are not and things outside of our control can really impact the outcomes.
  7. Get ready for a rollercoaster: Just like in “love” emotional connection really augment feelings. The highs are really high but the lows are even lower.
  8. The most expensive thing you can own is a closed mind: Flexibility is key because you’ll have to make compromises in order for things to work out. You’ll never know what could have been if your are too rigid or close-minded.
  9. No one can really give you advice: Although some red flags may be very obvious ultimately you decide with your heart. No one from the outside looking in can really assess your situation. You can only tell one side of a three-sided story.
  10. Happiness is hard: ultimately it’s a process not an end goal. You’ll never reach perfection and you should always be building to become stronger. If you get complacent it is a recipe for disaster so don’t let up.


1 thought on “Why finding a start up is comparable to looking for love…..

  1. Really loved your post, Alex! Also not a relationship expert, but I really like the analogy you used. Dating around in the beginning before making a commitment is important. You’ll be spending a lot of time working on your start-up so you should be in love with it. Happiness is also key! You’ll have your ups and downs at the start-up, so the journey should be one filled with happiness even through ups and downs.

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